finally, the finale…to the beginning

Like most other beings of limited-or-greater sentience I went out to see the thrilling conclusion to the prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.

Upside: It didn’t suck.
Downside: 1/3 is a good batting average – not so much for a movie trilogy.

The movie was well-plotted and the actors from across the pond did their level best to make the material work. Notes to Ian and Ewan: You are k-rad, I don’t blame YOU for the toe-curling, ear-cringing dialog. Portman could have been swapped in with a mannequin or statue and delivered an equal level of emotion. I don’t understand how she can turn off talent like that. If this was episode 1 I’d beg you to take your soul with you to the set for the next two. Hayden Christensen, my poor Annie, being only slightly less annoying than “that stupid kid from episode one” is a tough cross to bear. Sucks to be you I guess.

Was it just me or did the effects seem to be completely BLAH this time ’round? I was completely unimpressed by the whole spectacle. I guess once you reach a certain point with the graphics it becomes a matter of plausibility, not if you can or can’t see the wires. Is it the Matrix effect? Everything in the original was believable, yet complete fantasy. By the time Revolutions rolled there was just no room left in my plausibility tank.

Oh well, it’s all over now until the destined-for-cancellation TV series. The rumors are plentiful, mostly pointing to a show set beetween the old and new trilogies centering on the daring debauchery of Boba Fett. Protip: Boba Fett is EVIL. He’s not Vader. Making him some sort of tragic hero will fail and fail miserably.

Give the people behind Clone Wars a 300% raise and comission a 12-episode season of 30-minute shows. As long as it’s not given to Fox it’ll be big. Sno-Cones in hell big, mark my words. Grab the DVDs of that bad boy people. It is the shizzle, or whatever new catch-phrase the kids are beating to death these days.